Letter to a friend..

The path you're on is the only true real path. There is no other path. It is the culmination of every decision you have made to this point. It is the foundation for every decision you will make from this point forward. It is an expression of everything you are and aspire to be. There is no other path. It IS the path. It is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Don't curse the road for the potholes or dwell on the faded yellow lines. You will miss the brilliant fall colours that dot the landscape. You will miss the cotton candy clouds that dance on a carousel of autumn wind.

The moment you accept that you are exactly where you need to be, you start to live this moment to the fullest. If you truly wish to be somewhere else, you will find your way there. But, to reject the here and now is to stop living in the moment...which is essentially to stop living, since we can only live in the here and now. To live anywhere else is to take yourself out of existance, to give up your consciousness and float in limbo.

If you conquer the little things, the bigger worries will take care of themselves. Pull the weeds and the flowers bloom higher. Do the little things that bring you joy and joy will find a home with you.

I know it is our nature to to worry, to feel at times helpless in a seemingly chaotic world. But, that is an illusion. We are whatever we chose to tell ourselves we are. Forget about changing the world, change the routine that wears you down and you will have begun a greater transformation.

Right now you have mobility, you have a place to stay in Toronto. You have friends who would welcome you and support you. You have years of experience in you chosen field and health and time enough to choose another and begin again. You have family. You have the innocence of a child to absorb. talk to Justin...see what makes him laugh and laugh with him. You have the beauty and tranquility of the countryside, absorb the lessons it has to teach. There is nothing stopping you from attaining anything you want but worry and self-doubt. And, it is in your power to reject both or embrace both and wallow in the misery they offer. Don't second guess others or have expectations of them. Just go with the flow and create joy. Go to the cottage and create fun. There is absolutely no reason to worry that someone isn't catering to your ego. That is counter productive to creating a mood of joy and fun. Reject the sensitivity as an outdated habit that allowed you to hide from the things you want most so you can later get attention by playing the victim. Reject being rejected and you will be the life of the party, even if you are outside watching the leaves while eveyone inside gets drunk. It won't matter. You will have found a place in the group dynamic where you have found your own kind of joy. I say this to you out of love and friendship. Embrace the possibility, not the potential for disappointment.

The moment you accept that you CAN do anything, is the moment you will begin the anything that you choose to explore.

There is nothing wrong with the darkness the funk, the quiet. With out these, there could be no joy, no noise, no light. We are creatures of relativity. We are creators! So create. When you hit a wall, when you hit a block......punch through, go around, knock, or read a book and wait for the owner to come home. never think there is someone on the other side working against you. Even if there is...he/she has no power to stop you. There are a million different doors, and a million different answers. But, there is only one path. And, it is the path you are on. It is the path that you have chosen to walk. And, it is a glorious path. Smile. You are amazing!!!!

xxo
Billy

Notes On A Train

I can smell the ecstasy of creativity.

It is earthy, musky and yet, somehow sweet.

As I breathe it in, it coats my tongue and makes it moist.

Comfortable is almost as painful as chilled.

Squeezed by the weepy eyed grip of stability.

I can hear you....somewhere out there.

Dancing in the unseen world.

I don't know how to find you.

But, you seem closer when I close my eyes and when I let my thoughts float away.

Maybe you'll glow brighter when the lights outside have dimmed.

Our lips are bound to touch the same few frames of sky.

Darkest Before The Dawn...

What treasure lies within the dark,
caressed by only hope and faith.
a candy flavoured warm wet kiss,
yet born of unfamiliar face.

So little light shines on this day,
and choking on the dust of ruin
I"ll prey for gentle providence
for morrow's sweeter sounding tune

A New Year's Wish

Fill your heart with the hopes of tomorrow.

Find sure footing on the ground that offers joy.

Escape the never ending landslide of debris and disappointment

that comes from holding on to things best left behind.

Answer the call of those wish to include you in great new adventures.

Don't waste time pining for those who don't.

Begin the journey that leads to your dreams,

and savour every minute along the way.

Happy New Year! Best wishes for 2009!

You Are My Kryptonite

The healer can not heal your wounds

And, dealers do not deal your high

Leaving me to lay adrift

beneath a golden glitter sky.

Your taste still lingers on my lips,

though time has watered down its kiss

fermented in a cask of loss

though not completely robbed of bliss.

I feel you watching when I dream,

adding colour to my thoughts,

Wondering why we stopped the dance,

why friendship bloomed, then turned to rot.

But, distance does not disconnect

two souls so fatefully entwined.

The summer's long forgotten sun

can still the winter walker blind.

You are my kryptonite, my friend.

Your reach extends into my being,

with power to keep the wall intact

or find me by the faerie tree.

Thirsty

Wind swept craters wink at a drought weary sky,
tongues of black fanning out from their lips,
bathed only in moonlight,
on the earth's pock marked skin.
Where is the scorpion?
She pulls all the strings, the temptress,
the trapper, the villain, the judge.
Reborn at day's vigil,
to feast on the night.
The embers have long since rescinded their glow,
The stars hang like voyeurs at back alley shows,
an irregular rhythm comes over the land,
regret purged in shivers, shallow breaths, shaking hands.
Each minute grows colder,
more muffled each sound,
as the sand shifts and stirs to make room
in its bed.
I'll oblige, I'll accept. And, rest for a while.

Thank God for margins of error...

And, then there's that illusive 1% turning glitter into gold. Well done. Indent. Margin. indent. Content. Escape. Return. End Margin. Error